Update

Sorry, folks, no sign of the offspring yet. We had a doctor's appointment this past Monday, and she said that his head was in the correct position but that I wasn't dialated at all. I begged her to induce me on Wednesday (which would be today) but she didn't think that was a good idea. So, Baby Kellems still has a few days to make an appearance on his own. If he doesn't, we have another doctor's appointment on Monday and if things look good, she'll break my water. If things don't look good, I'll go to the hospital on Tuesday where they'll "ripen" me over night and do something more drastic on Wednesday morning. So apparently, we'll have a baby sometime. At least that's what people keep telling me...

Baby Shower Pictures

Here are some pictures from our work baby showers that we had in November.













This is me getting excited about gifts.













I LOVE FOOD!














Yummy cake.













Isn't he so cute!














Cutting the cake at my office shower.
All in all, it was a very fun party and we got lots of great stuff for the little guy. Many thanks for all who contributed!

For Linds

Apparently, The Kellems Chronicles has a #1 Fan. But only when she's bored at work. That's o.k.--we at TKC aren't picky about our fans. In fact, we try to make them happy. #1 Fan mentioned that it has been awhile since my last post and suggested that I stop laying around being tired and pregnant and put something up on the Internets. Well, I can't do much about being tired and pregnant (particulary since my doctor just told me that I'm not dialated AT ALL--BOO!), but I did make an attempt to make the blog more lively. I put up a gingerbread background (even though my recent attempts at making gingerbread men put me into false labor) and I put a poll to the side of the blog. Happy #1 Fan? I hope so...
P.S. #1--you could get your own blog so TKC can see what you're up to (and that you might know the pressure of catering to such an avid fanbase; it's tough, but worth it!).

Utah Showers

This past weekend, I went to Utah to attend my sister Jenni's bridal shower and a baby shower held for me. I was in charge of planning the bridal shower, and it was a little stressful trying to get everything together, but it turned out really well. My twin sister, Sarah, with the help of the rest of the family, threw my baby shower and it was adorable. I feel so lucky to have so many people who care about me. I was also able to get most of the gifts on the plane!
Unfortunately, I didn't have a chance to take many pictures since I was either helping to host showers or the recipient, so I'll have to post pictures when I get them from my mom. I did manage to take a few pictures of my sisters when we were at Alyssa's Bridal trying on dresses for Jenni's wedding.

Ye Olde Renaissance Festival

A couple of weeks ago we went to the Kansas City Renaissance Festival with some friends. It apparently is quite the big deal. There is a permanent facility where it is held, complete with jousting fields and quaint shops. We attended The Joust and ate at various food establishments. Did you know that funnel cake and crepes are from the middle ages? And yet, you had to pay 21st century prices....Hmmm...

Well, we had a great weekend. On Friday, we celebrated Ryan's birthday by having some friends over and playing Rock Band and Karaoke Revolutions. The next day we looked for a car and went to a University of Kansas football game.
Thanks for all the emails and birthday wishes. Maybe someday we'll be in the same state as some of you and can celebrate face to face!

Turning 30

Today is Ryan's 30th birthday. Happy Birthday!

Columbus (as in Ohio)

I took a work trip to Columbus, Ohio. It turns out that it is a fairly sizable city with a big downtown and a German village that sells yummy food at the Sausage Haus. And I saw the Lion King! Here are some pics--that way you can experience Columbus without ever having to leave your chair!

Mauled

When we were at the Kansas City Zoo, as shown in the slide shows below, we decided to feed the sheep. Yowsa. Those sheep went crazy for those grain pellets.

Kris and Ry Go Zooing

Weekly Entertainment

Dear Entertainment Weekly and ew.com:
How do I love thee? I love thee so much that while I can't seem to get through an entire article in TIME magazine, or the New Yorker, I read your weekly magazine from cover to cover--even the reviews for music that I will probably never listen to, and books I'll probably never read.
Why do you captivate my heart? Does it have something to do with day-by-day listing of what shows are on t.v. and the essential plot lines? Yes. And what about the reviews of new t.v. shows? My Tivo Season past list acquired many a new show based on your advice. And the latest buzz on movies, celebrities, fashion, parties? YES! EW, sometimes I wish you were my husband. (Please don't tell my real husband). And what would I do at work without reading my TV Watch recaps on ew.com? Work? C'mon. Sigh. I heart you EW!
Love, Your #1 Fan

And based on my EW additction here is what I will be watching this fall:
Gossip Girl: Who can resist this show? Not me. It's like the t.v. equivalent of cake and ice-cream--bad for you but so delish.
Bones: Got into this show this summer (see my embarassing post about Angel and Buffy) and kind of love it now. It's the funniest police show on t.v. But maybe that's not hard to beat?
Project Runway: This show won't last all fall, but I love me some PR. Makes me want to live in New York and make fun of stuff that people wear and kiss Heidi on both cheeks. And Tim too.
30 Rock: Probably my most favorite t.v. show. I have a secret life in which I am Tina Fey. I guess Sara Palin has that secret life too.
Pushing Daisies: I love that this show is about love and romance rather than sex. It is so sweet and quirky and full of pies. Yum.

Shows I'm less excited about but will probably follow:
The Office, Grey's (argh, I don't know why I can't just give this show up), Private Practice (please get better or I really will have to never watch again [which is a lie, but I tell myself that I really will do it this time]), Heroes (yeah, yeah, you PROMISE to be better. You better not have your fingers crossed behind your back).

New shows I may try:
My Own Worse Enemy. Because Christian Slater was so hot in the '90s, I will give his show a shot.
Sylista. Apparently it's a reality show based on The Devil Wears Prada. Um, Yay!
Kath & Kim. Who doesn't love that guy from all those Christopher Guest movies?

New Shows I probably won't watch:
902Freaking10: Sorry, just can't do it.
Knight Rider. More like Night Wronger.
Fringe, The Mentalist, Opportunity Knocks, Life On Mars, The Ex List, Gary Unmarried, and tons of other random shows. Were did these come from? Yawn. Guess I'll go to bed.

If you watch shows that you feel like deserve a spot on my Tivo, let me know.

Some pics from Hawaii

Here are a few pictures from the trip.













This is us in Haleakala National Park, Maui.













Ryan swimming in a waterfall on the Road to Hana.













Waianapapa State Park in Maui where we stayed two nights.













Haleakala Volcanic Crater.













At the Old Lahaina Luau.
If your interest in peaked and you love photos, there are about a hundred on my flickr page. You can get there by clicking on the link to the left. I still have some underwater photos to develop from our snorkeling adventures. Hopefully my shot of Shyla the Sea Turtle turns out!

Baby Boy Kellems

Yesterday we had our 20 week sonogram. The baby is in good health, with a four chamber heart, no fluid on the brain and all the fingers and toes. And...the baby also has something between its legs that girl babies don't have--that's right, folks, we're having A BOY! Here is a picture of his little face:


















This one shows his arm up by his face.

















Finally, this one shows that the baby is a boy. The top of the picture is his bump and the two lumps to the side are his legs. The arrow is pointing at the bits that make him a little boy.


















We are so excited! We can't wait to meet him in person in four months.

Hawaii Count Down

We are going to Hawaii in three days! We leave on Wednesday, have a layover in Seattle overnight and arrive in Maui on Thursday. We will be back on Saturday the 16th. I am totally excited--the heat here is killing me!
I'll write more when i get back!

Home on the Range

This post is dedicated to our floating baby. Isn't it looking so big now? Its making my stomach look big too. Of course that could also be the enormous cupcake I had after my lunch at Wendy's or my skyrocketing Tad's count. (Tad's = 6. Willpower = 0).
Baby Kellems will be born to a home on the Range. I have not really noticed any deer or antelope here (except for the dead ones on the side of the road), but we do have a buffalo farm a couple miles from our house, so that's pretty prairieish. And did I mention the Yellow Brick Road? Can't really live on the Range without one of those.
In the spirit of Range living, I am posting a great rendition of "Home on the Range". I've already played it for baby several times, and I'm sure its enjoying it from its watery cushion. Now you get a chance to be jealous that you too don't live on the Range.

Strange Addictions

I don't really know what causes it, but on occasion, I'll get obsessed with certain t.v. shows. These addictions don't really happen with current t.v., although my TIVO can attest to dedication to certain shows, I've never obsessed about currently airing shows.
No, my particular brand of t.v. heroin tends to run towards t.v. on dvd. And once I get ahold of one disc of one season, it's over for me. I have to watch ever subsequent disc of every subsequent season. Happened with Sex and the City. Happened with Alias. Happened with Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Tudors, Entourage and an embarassing number of other shows.
A couple of weeks ago a friend at work was singing the praises of certain t.v. shows that he loves. He watches LOST and said that Buffy the Vampire Slayer was of a similar vein (wha wha). So he lent me the first season. And now...I can't stop. It's not even like I love the show that much. The first couple of season were pretty good, but now I'm in the fourth season and it's on the lame side. But can I stop watching it? No. Do you think Ryan would help me get a grip on things? No. If anything he makes things worse because he downloads episodes to the computer and sets them up for me to watch.
But if the addiction were to stop there, it would at least be manageable. Alas, it does not. I have developed a bit of a "your so hot and I kind of need to watch all your shows" fascination with David Boreanaz who stars as Buffy's boyfriend, Angel. Angel had a spin off show called "Angel". Guess who is also watching episodes of Angel (and yes, still watching episodes of Buffy). That's right. Me. And not only that, Boreanaz is now in a show called "Bones." Guess who is watching episodes of Bones along with episodes of Angel and Buffy. Yep. The Pregnant Pathetic One.
You would think I wouldn't have a lot of time to do other stuff besides watch t.v. True. Luckily, I don't have a bevy of playmates here in Kansas and its like 5,000 degrees outside, so no one is really suffering (c'mon, let me justify--isn't that a step towards recovery?).
There it is. My dark secret. I just need to get through about three more season for each show and then let the healing begin!

Waxing Nostalgic

As you may have guessed from prior posts (i.e. the Stadium's On Fire), I like a trip down memory lane. And since blogs are about communicating and sharing, I thought it'd be fun to wax a little nostalgic. So, here are the rules.

1. Add a comment on my blog, leave one (or 2 or 3...) memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you.

Art for Everyone

There is a phrase out there that I find to be somewhat of a contradiction: "Creative Lawyering." As an attorney, I certainly haven't found myself in ballet shoes or swaying like a tree in the wind. I haven't sketched any pictures in the course of my lawyerly duties--and I certainly haven't had much to do with in the way of clay sculpting. So, I think "Creative Lawyering" basically means "Sorry, Schmuck, but that's going to cost you another $500."
Because the traditional notion of C.L. wasn't quite cutting it for me, I decided to really be a creative...lawyer. I signed up for an art class at the local arts center. Yeah, that's right, some burned-out hippie who couldn't make it in the big time, is teaching me that when the sun is in different points in the sky, it casts different kinds of shadows. Shadows, boys and girls, are something caused by something else blocking the light. There are short shadows, there are long shadows.
Unfortunately, the above phrasing is almost verbatim from my B.O.H. art teacher, Annie. And it's kind of a relief, because I always had trouble figuring out where shadows come from. I'm hoping that the subsequent classes--ceramics, painting, printmaking, will be a little bit more informative. If not, then I can always just resort back to figuring out new ways to charge people exorbitant fees.

"S-S-Summertime"

July in Kansas. The weather is scorchingly hot and muggy. There are times when you don't want to leave the cool comfort of the home A/C unit (plus, your WT neighbors are always outside smoking, and you like to have as little contact with them as possible). So what is worth a trip into the realm of heat and second-hand smoke?
A trip to Tad's Snow Cone Shop.
I never was big into shaved ice before (o.k. that's a falsehood--as a child, I had a do-it-yourself snow cone kit, and would make cones and sell them). But since I've found myself with child, I can't seem to pass the local snow cone shop without stopping for one.
So Ry and I scrounge up the $1.50 (that's a Jayhawk size cone) and head over to Tad's for some sweet relief.
So far, I've had Tiger's Blood (a snow-cone must) and Kansas Delight. By the end of the summer, I may have worked myself through the enormous list of flavors ( a rather embarrassing accomplishment). But one can't spend her life not living for fear of later regrets (like shaved ice induced dental problems). No, one must live in the NOW. And if the NOW calls for throwing on a little Fresh Prince and heading over to Tad's, then who am I to resist?

Stadium's On Fire

Ahh, the Fourth of July. Growing up, this was one of my favorite holidays. My grandma lived on Stadium Avenue and every year we would go to her house for a barbecue and then walk down to Cougar Stadium and set up blankets to watch the fireworks (some years we'd mix it up and go up to the Provo Temple grounds).
There were advertisements for the Stadium of Fire for weeks in advance, touting such hip headlining acts as: "Huey Lewis and the News", "Glady's Knight" and "The Osmond Boys". The jingle would end with a loud shout of "Stadium of Fire!" which my family always modified to "Stadium's On Fire."
Of course we never actually had tickets to Stadium's On Fire. We just sat outside and tried to sneak in to it every year. On one memorable year, my Uncle Matt (who is easily a candidate for BEST UNCLE IN THE ENTIRE KNOWN WORLD) had tickets to the Huey Lewis show. 2 tickets. One for him and one other person. But he didn't want to play favorites, so each of his nieces and nephews got to spend 20 minutes inside the stadium, on a rotating basis. On my twenty minutes, people were rushing the field screaming, "Huey, Huey!" So that's what I did too. Oh Huey. You do put on a good show.
I've spent other memorable July 4ths at Lake Powell, Las Vegas and under the Arch in Saint Louis, but there will always be something special about Stadium's On Fire.

Happiness is a Warm Gun

Yesterday, our neighbors (please see prior entries for background info) started off the early afternoon and evening with bruskies and smokes. Not so unusual, in fact, they pretty much start off every afternoon with such activities. Around 10:30 p.m., they moved on to more lively forms of entertainment--like shooting a handgun off of the back porch. That's right. THEY SHOT A HANDGUN OFF OF THE BACK PORCH. In a residential neighborhood, 10 feet from where we sleep. Totally scary.
Of course we called the cops and of course the neighbors lied about it and nothing happened.
I thought the cars, garbage, grill-outs and loud music was bad. But the drinking and handling of firearms is in a whole new category. Looks like the only thing we can do now is try to find another place to live.
What is it about hard-core white trash that is drawn to booze and weapons? And have you noticed that while the second amendment apparently now covers the individual's right to bear arms, those individuals are never the people you want bearing arms?
Bang, Bang. Shoot, Shoot.

Second Trimester

I'm 13 weeks so I'm now in the second trimester! Yay!
People tell me I'm supposed to start feeling better. I hope they are right. I am not as constantly nauseated as I was before, but I still am throwing up (although not daily) and am always tired.
But I am excited that I'll start looking pregnant instead of just fat (but is there really a difference?) and that I'll eventually feel the baby move. I bet that will be amazing.

Why I'm always homesick

Because Kansas will never be this...

Here are some other pics of Utah when I went there on Spring Break in 2007.

Photos from the Utah Trip

My cousin Kate, who is a talented photographer, took some photos of a couple of family gatherings when I was out in Utah in May. She sent me a cd of pictures, and I thought a few were so cute that they had to be shared.
This is at the Training Table--one of my all time favorite places to eat (mmm...cheese fries...). I am with my cousin Brit, my sister Linds, and my sister-in-law Cindi.

Here are the kids outside of the TT. Sophia (pink bow), Olivia, Esme and Mya. Esme appears to have an itch. She appears to think it is hilarious, which I agree with.

Here I am at Timpanogas Park with Kate, and my twin sister Sarah.

The extended family. Good times had by all.

Goodreads

I love Goodreads. It is basically an online bookclub. Here's how it works. You sign up for an account (using your email account) then you post books that you've read, are reading or will read. Then you add your friends to see what they're reading. It's a great way to talk about books without the drawbacks of a physical book club (like reading books you don't actually want to read and discussing them with people you'd rather not discuss with). You can rate books you've read, and write reviews as to why you've rated that book the way you did. You can post comments about books your friends are reading and even join discussion groups. I've learned so much about my friends' taste in books, and been inspired to read books that I otherwise wouldn't have. There is even a statistical analysis in which you can compare your taste with your friends to see how similar they are.
For example, with one of my friends, we have "3 books (or 8.57% of your library and 75.00% of her library) in common. Your tastes for those 3 ratings are 73% similar."
Books that I've read because of friends' high ratings on Goodreads: Me Talk Pretty One Day, Time Traveler's Wife, Water For Elephants and Eat Pray Love. After I read them, I was able to discuss them online with others who had read them.
So there you have it, my plug for Goodreads. Hey, once and English major, always and English major.

Little Topeka

Our neighbors are hard-core white trash. There is no other way to say it. All the indicators are there: broken down cars in their parking spots and in the visitor parking spots; trash cans next to their front door; kegs of beer next to the trash cans next to the front door; trash bag filled with beer cans next to the keg next to the front door; random people showing up at all hours of the day or night who may or may not live there.
We live in a townhouse with two other townhouses to the left of ours and one to the right. The neighbors on the far left are a bunch of frat boys who like to have drunken parties at 3 or 4 in the morning, inclement weather be damned. The ones immediately to our left also like to have late night parties and afternoon parties and morning parties. Yesterday morning at 8:00 a.m. they were out on their back porch doing who knows what and swearing like sailors. Nothing more pleasant than waking up to the repeated use of the F-bomb. Finally, the neighbors on the right of us were evicted because of their failure to pay rent. One of the trashies that lived there was a convicted sex offender. Seriously. We came home to a flyer on our door. He, unfortunately, had the proclivity to smack his baby mama around. Needless to say, not many tears were shed on our part at their departure.
Alas, the problem is the neighbors that are still in our complex. The ones that moved all of their outdoor furniture so they could sit out in front, literally in the parking lot (next to their trash cans, of course). The ones that originally only had a single mom, her daughter, her brother and her mother living there and now have all those previously mentioned plus an older stoned out hippie couple, the single mom's latest baby daddy and his two children, and several random black dudes.
Yikes, you may say, and you would be right.
Ryan has taken to calling our complex, "Little Topeka". This may seem like a harsh characterization of the town we lived in for three years (and where I currently work...in the Capitol building itself) but it's not. By and large Topeka is a city of Walmarts, broken down Chevys, and drunken spats in the wee hours of the morning. Lawrence, the town we currently live in, has a reputation for being more...not Topeka. The University is there, there are a lot of boutique shops and restaurants, lots of parks and a few hippies. But for whatever reason, we don't live in the Lawrence part of Lawrence--we live in the Topeka part of Lawrence.
Ahh, Little Topeka. Ryan's most recent solution is: "if you can't beat them, join them". He wants to set up a wading pool in the parking lot and spend the evenings out there. But surely, there must be some other way to combat white trash without becoming white trash...right?

Don't Feed the Polar Bear 'Lil Smokies!

I've been having crazy dreams, which I guess is not uncommon during pregnancy. I read an article about vivid pregnancy dreams online, but none of those ladies dreams seemed as weird as mine are. For example, this week I have dreamed about: my sister giving me her unwanted baby which morphed into a litter of kittens; me riding around on a hot air balloon with some hippies making perfume; and my bed becoming a life raft in a sea of lemonade.

But I have to say that the craziest dream I've had so far was this: Ryan and I live in a cabin somewhere kind of chilly. It is snowing outside, but there are palm trees. We have a big pantry and I am eating everything I can find in it. All of the sudden there is a growling out side and a voice says, "Grrr, let me in!" So Ryan does! And the voice belongs to an enormous polar bear! He tells Ryan that he's hungry so Ryan goes in to the pantry and grabs some 'Lil Smokies. I shout at Ryan that he should under no circumstances FEED THE POLAR BEAR 'LIL SMOKIES. Ryan ignores me and starts chucking smokies to the bear. I spend the rest of the dream trying to figure out how to get the bear out of the house. I finally start throwing smokies out the window and the bear leaves.

What?! I know that dreams are reflections of our hopes and fears and blah, blah, but I can't figure out what the bear and the smokies are trying to tell me.

Soakin' Up The Sun

As mentioned, this past weekend, Ryan and I went on a trip with our friends--he with his, me with mine.
I went to Houston with my friend Robin, to visit my friend Bryn.








This is a picture of us in front of the stadium where the Astros play. We watched as the Yankees beat them.









We also went to the beach near Galveston. As you might glean from the pink hue of my legs, I got very badly sunburned. (In fact, Ryan winces every time he sees my legs).
Meanwhile, Ryan was in Zions National Park with his buddies. He hiked Angels Landing but managed not to get badly burned.




















It was fun to be with our friends, but the best was coming home to each other.

That Folk Singer Chick

So, we were out of town this past weekend--Ryan to Zions National Park and myself to Houston. In preparation for this trip, I decided to download this show called New Amsterdam (recommended to me because the main character is super hot) to watch on the plane. Well, I couldn't stop downloading after I started, so I downloaded a song by Brett Dennen that I really liked. Well, back at work today, I was listening to my iTunes and Brett Dennen came on. "I sure do like the smooth stylings of that folk singer chick", I thought to myself. I became curious as to what this chick looked like, and when I saw the album cover, I was like, "Whoa, that chick is homely!"
Well, it turns out that that chick is a dude! I seriously couldn't tell from a) the name, b) the voice, c) the picture. Wikipedia had to tell me.

I mean, seriously. Dude looks like a lady.

News

After a long wait (around two years) Ryan and I are expecting our first baby on New Years Day, 2009. We're both terribly excited (except that I have the added benefit of being terribly sick). I'll post more info and pictures later on.

A New Day

Once upon a time, I was known as Mind Spew, and I was an avid blogger. Of course, I was in law school, so I had plenty of time for such things. Then life happened and blogging lost it's glittery appeal. But a new day has dawned--my sister, The Anti-blogger, has created a blog. Such drastic measures have forced me to reconsider my blog-free existence...and to begin to blog again.
Although Mind Spew still remains in the confines of cyberspace, I have created a new blog to dedicate to my fanbase (i.e. my sister). So, Smithers, I hope you enjoy at the pictures and Billy Joel lyrics to come--because I'm pretty sure no one else will.